A THOUGHT ABOUT MONEY

This adoption process/journey has been a real education and I want my blog to not only highlight our adventure but to educate those that care to read it about the issues, setbacks, and the overall process of adoption. There are a lot of misconceptions concerning adoption. Just like there are a lot of misconceptions about fertility, and I think that people deserve to know what it is really like. Some families wish to make the process a very private situation. Others have a higher calling and want to let others know about the plight of all orphans and not just their own cause.

One very real part of the process is the financial aspect. For some reason no one wants to talk about it--probably because it is not so pleasant to talk about exchanging money for a child. Truth is, I never had rose colored glasses about the situation. I have always known that the true bottom line of adoption for many agencies is the profit. There is really no way around it, the cost is quite high, even for special situations such as special needs children, minority babies, and sibling groups--there will be costs involved. THat is just the world that we live in today.

I have read many blogs from adoptive parents in which they share the many different ways in which they raised money in order to fund their adoptions. I think it just humanizes the process, and makes the story even more special. Because honestly, few of us have 20 to 30 thousand socked away to pay the up front costs of an adoption. Finances are the number one reason why people hesitate to adopt. That is why I wish to share and educate. There are so many programs and so many unique ways to raise funds, and that is not including the tax and employer grants and benefits.

Daniel and I have about 19 thousand in cash that we can access. But that is all of our liquid savings, and I don't know if we will want to use it all. We may ask for an increase on our line of credit at our bank, or refinance the house if Daniel wants to. THere are also a ton of fundraisers that we could do by going through agencies that specialize strictly in adoption related fundraising. These are all an option if we don't want to borrow money from a lender. There are even such things as adoption loans. We also have A visa and a master card with low interest and high credit limits that we can use to cover expenses such as travel and things like that. I am even gonna do a booth a the nashville flea market, and a few festivals to sell some of my jewelry.

I intend to share these things on the blog because they are just a part of our journey. I want others to know that average folks like Daniel and I can afford and achieve adoption. We don't have to be executives, or celebrities or doctors, or public figures. In fact the typical adoptive family is just like us--imperfectly perfect.

A Tribute. (A Note I wrote on Facebook)

Those of you that are close to us know about our struggles and strong desire to have a child over the past several years. Most of you know about all the losses, and the pain, and may have even been there to hold our hand and wipe our tears and tell us that everything was going to be okay. But you now, the time comes that a person just gets worn out and tired of trying and trying. I had to come to terms and make peace with the fact that my uterus--was closed for business. So with that one door closed, another opened to the world of adoption. And Daniel and I walked through that door.

So, we are starting this journey, and wanted you to know. We hope that you will share with us and be glad with us when we finally get to bring our baby home. WE are using The Adoption Network Law Center in Lake Forest, California. When I was looking through their website, I found a section which contains letters written by birth mothers to their unborn children. There was a particular letter that really caught my eye, and it let me know that we are not the only ones that suffer loss and pain. I am going to share that letter with you because I think that it really humanizes the adoption process. Somewhere out there is a young woman that is just finding out that she is pregnant, and is scared. She doesn't know it just yet, but the little one she is carrying is our child.

I will keep you guys up on our updates through these notes from time to time. Love you all.



My Dearest Matthew,

I have a strong belief that we get to choose our family before we are born. That we live with God before we become a flesh and blood person and He offers us a number of people to be our families on earth. As a result of this belief, I wrote you a short story.

~~~~~

Once a small angel waited by the pool of life. Eager to jump in, he started to put his big toe into the warm comforting water.

"Matthew," God called, "Before you can be born, you must choose the family with which you will reside. Come… choose your new home from the Great Tree."

The Great Tree loomed above Matthew. Its beautiful golden branches made his step falter with awe. Angels flittered everywhere, hovering like hummingbirds under the wide canopy; they gently plucked the brown leaves.

Kneeling so that he could speak into Matthew's ear, God whispered, "One of those branches holds your family. All you need to do is choose the family you want. Touch a branch and it will show you all the joys and trials that you will have in that life." With that, God lifted the boy up to the tree and asked, "Which leaves would you like to look at first?"

Many hours later and after looking at many families, Matthew did not see any that he liked and so he asked God, "May we look at the very tippy top?"

Heavenly Father smiled a warm and comforting smile. "Those are the adopting families" He thought. He did not say a word but simply moved to the highest and most center part of the tree.

Matthew looked and looked, but he still didn't find any families that he was happy with. He was just about to give up when he saw one of the leaves sparkle. He reached out and touched the branch, and he knew that was his home. Excited, he turned his little head to God and exclaimed, "This is it! This is my family! They are the ones I want to be with! They are waiting for me!"

The Lord looked at the branch and smiled. It had two large leaves and one small one. "That is a very special family my son. You will not be able to go to them the traditional way." Upon seeing the crushed look on Matthews face, God continued, "You get to choose another mother, she will be your birth mother and she will be guided to your parents and you will end up in their arms as you have chosen to be."

After another long while, Matthew found someone, he believed, would be a great birthmother. Beaming he touched another branch and said, "This one! She will love me and she will want me to be happy with my family, I choose her." Again God smiled.

Thank you for choosing me. Much love always and forever ~

Your Birthmother,
Cristal

HERE WE ARE!

So, this is us, Daniel, Elle, Noelle (18), and Malia (17). I also need to mention that we have 4-four legged children: two cats and two dogs. I feel the need to include them in our stories, as they are a part of our family and will be impacted as well by the new developments as they come.

The winning agency, or I should say, law firm is Adoption Network Law Center out of Lake Forest California. We chose them because they specialize in domestic newborn adoptions, and are nationwide. On the 29th of June, we have our first telephone consultation with Kay Tanner. That is when we will find out all of the particulars so that Daniel and I can officially retain them. I also found an agency out of Smyrna that will be conducting our home study. They are called Adoption Assistance Inc. The cost of our home study will be $1500, and the process should take about six weeks. with this particular agency.